Just keep swimming

SO RED. Hrrr.

I'm a believer

Today after my usual gentle exfoliation of my face, the most amazing thing happened. Under all that grainy flaky mess was baby soft skin, red.... Yes,  but not dry. I can't stop touching my face. It feels so.... Normal.

I'm sure it'll turn back to scalyness by tomorrow, but just feeling that skin makes me feel more optimistic. I sometimes have niggling doubts about whether this topical steroid withdrawal malarkey is real but now, I'm a believer.

Also was looking at photos of myself before I stopped using protopic/steroids and I always always had dark red patches on my cheeks, even with my layers of foundation  and concealer. It was horrible having to depend on a cream to look halfway decent.  I refuse to go back to that! Neverrrr.

Curly lines

There must be an art to filling in my increasingly sparse eyebrows. I look perpetually shocked, no matter how carefully I draw them on. Tis a shambles.

2 months in.

It has been 2 months since I decided to quit corticosteroids. My face is pretty much the same, a red, flaky, dry, literally hot mess. Oozing has reduced (w00p w00p) and the redness seems to now be affecting my neck abit. It's just a few small spots but they are so horribly itchy. I'm aware that tsw can still spread... That's fine and all,  I really just want my face cleared up (and because I've only applied topical steroids on my face, this probably won't happen any time soon... Bummer).

I feel so helpless right now, I've been housebound since the beginning of tim- erm tsw. The hardest part of this process is not knowing when healing will occur. I don't want to return to work still feeling so uncomfortable and looking like the phantom of the Opera but I really love my job too, so I'm full of worries. If I start using steroids again, the past 2 months of extreme discomfort would have been for nothing and I know I would regret it. So here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

You know where to find me...

When my face feels really horrible and tight (like after a shower or a wash) I retreat to my secret lair of shame (under my duvet) and curl into a foetal position like a creature of darkness. Seriously, I know it sounds nuts but 5 minutes under a duvet makes my face alot more comfortable, maybe me breathing makes the air more humid? I dunno but it works for me . And plus it's warm and cozy and an ideal place to sit and use my kindle (I WILL GET THROUGH THE GAME OF THRONES BOOKS BY THE END OF THIS!). Fighting!

This is scaly eagle, reporting from ze lair of shame, week 7.5, over.

The fire rages on

The redness is spreading :/.... not majorly, it's just conquering more areas of my face. It's also suddenly wayyyy more itchy. I'm only 7 weeks in and I know I should expect this but I hate that it's on my face. This is bloody awful. I feel like a leper and my face offends me. -.-

Also I've somehow managed to get through almost half a tub of nutella whilst wallowing in self pity and stalking ITSAN for reassurance that I'm not alone.

Jeez.