Using make up...

Today was the first day I tried to use make up to hide the rashes on my face. (see pic) Not a good idea, it made my skin uber itchy and it looks very cakey. I just really want to look normal! I'm so done with being housebound but the thought of leaving the house with my face so rashy and pigmented makes me panic. Heart thumping dizzying panic.  Although make up somewhat hides pigmentation,  it also exaggerates the dryness of my face so... It's not really ideal, I rather be comfortable.

I may have to go back to work in April and I don't know if I could handle it. Sigh. I wish I was badass enough to not give an eff about how I look.... But alas.

Dermatologist Appointment (SPAAARRR-TAAA)

Today I went in to see my dermatologist and told him all I knew about TSW. He tried to convince me to use steroids and although he did know of Topical Steroid Dependency, he still didn't think that what I am going through, is actually TSW. His explanation of why he thinks this is not withdrawal were pretty vague... something about the inflammation and redness being active eczema, or just hyper-pigmentation (I'm brown! I know what hyper-pigmentation looks like but I've never been this purply red before, I swears it) but nevertheless he said he will look into Dr Rapaport's papers and that if I think this is good for me, he will try to support me through the withdrawal.

This surprised me somewhat because the other dermatologists I have seen weren't even willing listen and scoffed at my research (Ohhh you-are-not-a-doctor-how-can-you-possibly-conduct-research-blah-blah) so I had come in expecting this to be a battle ....but it wasn't, I am pleasantly surprised. He even knows of Dr Rapaport, THE Dr Marvin Rapaport from Beverly Hills, and said he was a famous dermatologist and well... I just feel a bit giddy with relief.

Gah.

5 weeks in. Le sigh.

I feel like two face Harvey from Batman...  As in the right side of my face is more affected than the left. I don't know if the photos are giving you guys an accurate picture of how bad I look right now. It's so hard to believe that I will heal but I can't turn back now. 

It's the first time I've taken pictures and not tried to look pretty. :\.  I'm in my pyjamas and everything. Kinda therapeutic in a way. I'm not using any moisturisers either just because it just makes me itchy.

Eyebrow

My eyebrow.... It's disappearing. D:

my face.... it hurts

My face is all flaky and weepy. I'm using sudocrem (an antiseptic cream) on the weepy parts and been given antibiotics (erythromycin) which I've been taking

 I'm so worried about hyperpigmentation too, with my skintone, I bruise like a peach. *sigh* Why does it have to be on my face? *shakes fist at universe*. Okay enough of the self pity. It will heal. Insha'Allah.

I'm gonna watch some Christmas telly to make myself feel better.

a picture is worth a thousand words - TSW 4 WEEKS IN

Please do not use the pictures on this blog without my permission.